The Healing Process

[Arabian Nights]

Hello and Welcome
Am sorry for your loss and your experiences
as Pinky says...take your time
give yourself permission to have some time out to process it all, we here give you permission
The feelings you have are loss and Grief, a time of morning , due to a DEATH of what could have been. All the lost dreams, fantasies, hopes and plans ALL the WHAT IF's. Due to Fraud
There are stages that you will go thru' of sadness, confusion, beating yourself up, and the TEARS....let them run
as time goes on this will reduce although your first scammer is like your first love, your first anything...it has the biggest impact.
Do share with us your mailings and your experience and where you are now, there are many here to stand by you as you travel down this path, you are not alone we are all just here.

Just some simple things to follow everyday:
*Go to work
*Maintain your normal routine, wake up at a good time open blinds and let the sun shine in, what a good day
"today is a new day, and just for today I will live"
*Attend to you personal hygiene
*Eat and Drink at every meal
*Go for a walk
*Do ONE thing you like EACH DAY, eat chocolate, visit friends &/ family, pedicure, massage,garden,
reading, listening to music, paint, draw, retail therapy, lunch, movies, pick a flower, post up on RS
*Maintain a good sleep pattern and even a nanny nap
*Give yourself permission to slack off

You are caring people with a depth to you for others and giving.
Thankyou for sharing, letting us get to know you both, thankyou

[Crescentmoon]

Thank you for a wonderful post ANights! I am 5 months scammer free now. I think of it as an addiction and liken it to a 12 step program. It was an addiction to his sweet words even though I knew better. Be it good or bad, it is what works for me. Thank you for your reminder to take care of me. I forget that sometimes. I still think about him, but not as much and certainly not in the same way evil S*^B that he is!

I will think about you tomorrow when the sun shines (if it does here)!

Thanks again.

[mona75]

Good morning!

I just want to say how much I feel reliefed when I read all your posts. Now I just open this page to find some kind of piece and understanding. And I just hope that people find site on time...
Maybe it is now so strange to me that I already feel stronger after few days but I do believe that this site help me so much!!!
I wish nice weekend to you all and some new positive thougths about ourselves because our time is there ...just behind corner

[scallywag]

Arabrian Nights - so wonderfully written...

Yes..The healing process is slow, and although your wounds will be healed, scars still remain, BUT...everyday is a 'Positive' day from the moment you wake up...set yourself 'Affirmations or write down mini-goals' on paper..put them on your fridge, your mirror, anywhere you can see it to remind yourself, you are the kind, good person you are.

Meditations are brilliant for healing...guidance...love and clearing the mind...light some scented candles, soft music and relax...doesn't have to take an hour or more!

In given time, you will gradually re-gain your trust, confidence, love, life...Godbless you and you have already taken that vital step forward....by coming here.

Remember this also...'When one door closes..another surely opens'. Don't look over your shoulder, always look forward

Much Light and Blessings x

[zetaarnold]

THANKS ARABIAN NIGHTS!
It is really a beautiful message. Thanks for remember us what we can do to take care of ourselves. I could say that this site help me a lot in the healing process.

[didi]

I need an advice. I have a Yahoo e-mail address with almost all the scammer e-mails on. I just don't have nerves enough to read all these mails and copy them, with full headers, into a word document. Should I only erase my account or should I wait until I feel for copy e-mails? It really hurts to read them. I feel stupid and angry when I try to.

[FrumpyBB]

If it hurts you then do nothing and ignore them for as long as you feel uncomfortable. Or just list their emails addies and send them to me via PM so I can write them in this case.

[didi]

I might do that. I do have almost all IP-numbers/headers in one document/e-mail address. There is luckily a way to open headers without opening e-mails in both yahoo and hotmail by right-clicking and choose full header.

[SnowRose]

The healing process is a very hard and slow process. One must have the goal to be able to heal. Yes, it is true as what Pinky said, “1.Denial”. At the start one denies that it really hurts a lot. We try to block everything out of our system to protect ourselves for more heartache because of the lies we just discovered. Most of us including me say that everything is alright. But no, the truth is, “Not everything is alright!”. The price of being a scammer’s victim is too expensive. We are not just speaking here of the huge amount of money these evil creatures looted from us victims. This also includes the after match which these evils try in terms of psycho terrors to their victims after their lies are discovered. Yes, I really paid a very high price just like other victims. We just hope that these evil creatures will one day harvest the evil things they planted.
These PMs from fellow victims, RS moderators and staff is really a very big help for me in my healing process. Thank you everybody!

[justamom]

I try to forget about him. I have blocked him from my emails and IM but he still keeps texting me on my phone.
Last night he sends me texts: "I miss you so much" and then "where are you?"
How can I forget and start healing when he keeps contacting me?
I want to reply so badly and tell him I miss him too, but I don't. I just ignore them and then cry again.
I am having trouble separating the guy I talked to and the pics of him from the real person behind the pics. He didn't get my money but he got my heart.
I feel like an idiot falling in love with someone who doesn't even exist.
I miss my arthur and want him back.

[Arabian Nights]

Hi Justamom
you will continue to love him as the man your saw and the words he spoke and as time goes by this to will move.
I still have a place for "my Davis" for the emotions where real
Sadly the person behind him is not and had / has NO REAL FEELINGS towards us but for the $$$$$
So take your time to grieve this lose as you are the feeling person and the real deal who thinks of others and cares about them
as for the phone messages it is better to let them go and instead of reading them, delete them.
When you are ready post everything, it is amazing how much it helps to clean out your emotions you can also clean out your fridge it is amazing how much better you feel after that
one day at a time and forgive yourself
Am glad to know you

[Pinky]

I miss my arthur and want him back.

No!! You don't really want the slime ball bastard that was behind the pictures back!! You want the feelings of love and belief that someone really loved you. You can and will get those back. It just takes time. IMO, the best and fastest way to get those feelings back is to share yourself and help someone else - someone who deserves your help and trust.

[justamom]

When you are ready post everything, it is amazing how much it helps to clean out your emotions you can also clean out your fridge it is amazing how much better you feel after that

I have posted it. It helped a little but I still am having trouble with this whole thing. I cleaned out the fridge too! Didn't really help. I am going to clean the whole place! Maybe that will help. Cleaning helps when I am angry. And I am also angry! At him for stealing my heart and breaking it and at me for being so stupid to fall for him! But he seemed so real, sincere, honest.
When I think about it I realize how he created my ideal. One of the first things he wanted to know, was what I liked in a man and what I didn't like. Then he became that man. I was hooked. I really believe he loved me and wanted to marry me.

[justamom]

Bastard is still texting me.
I wish he would stop because it hurts every time he does. I ignore them, but it is hurting me.

[Pinky]

Bastard is still texting me.
I wish he would stop because it hurts every time he does. I ignore them, but it is hurting me.

If it doesn't cost you any money, text back one word, 'SCAMMER' in all caps, every time he sends you a text. He'll quit. Don't be accessible to him by phone or email. Just text the word SCAMMER only. It will drive him nuts.