ScamDigger Forum

welcome to RS Zeba

you can post your scammer in white male or other, so lot woman/man will safe by your post

I posted pictures of the scammer 2 years ago on this site because this is the site where I came to know he was a scammer. I posted under the username Alaiya32.

Zeba wrote:I actually didn't like him from the beginning but was so desperate,

This is quite normal and very healthy of you to recognize this. Two years in mourning is not unreasonable because it is your time, the time you need. Everyone is different. Some can bounce back in a week, others might go on for many more than two. Accept it for what it is and leave it be. Worrying about time always makes it go the opposite of what you want.

Zeba wrote:I feel I need a sense of closure and the emotional hurt it has caused me because I feel people think I can't be trusted.

If people really do feel they can't trust you then don't put them in any position where they have to trust you or you need or request their trust. They will stop feeling that way when they don't feel they're being forced into it. Meanwhile, are you absolutely sure that is how they feel? Have you asked them? Have they said? Be clear and straight with the people that matter in your life. If they say they don't trust you, then clear the air by apologizing and committing to not put them in that position again. And keep your word. Time will mend these relationships. But be sure you are not projecting your own feelings of insecurity and inadequacy on them. They may not understand how you fell for a scam (most people don't understand this), but they still may not be blaming or mistrusting you.

Zeba wrote:The money I sent was borrowed money that I did not have and I have claimed bankruptcy so I do not have to repay it.

Bankruptcy is hard. For many here, it has been the only resolution for the financial carnage that these scammers leave behind. It will be a long time in recovering from that, longer than the sick feeling of failure lasts, because it follows you for years after on your credit reports. But try to think of bankruptcy as a class you took in the school of hard knocks. You can learn many good things from this class; the most important being, managing your future financial affairs. Learn to save and budget. Learn that credit is rarely a good thing. Cash is always the best. If you don't have the cash for something you want, your choices are either save until you do, or do without it because you can't afford it.

If you borrowed from family and friends and think the bankruptcy absolved you from those debts, that is going to haunt you, I know. My advice would be to make payments to them anyway. Keep record of what you owed and divide it up into affordable payments. Keep record of those payments. Pay them before you buy anything except your absolute living expenses. If you borrowed $1,000 from your sister and you can only afford to pay her $20 a week, then that's what you should do. It may seem impossible or too small an amount, but the feelings you both get will be worth it. You will feel more like you're trying to make things right and they will feel more sympathetic for your efforts.

Last but not least, the best way to find closure for this is to give of yourself, your time, talents and efforts. Give to others who are needy. You can always find someone, somewhere who is worse off than you are. When we step outside of the boundaries of our own suffering, we lose sight of our own suffering. You can start here by checking in from time to time and offering kind words to someone who's walking in the same shoes you wore. When you're feeling better about helping others then, look around your community. Volunteer at a pet adoption center, a nursing home, a local church or school. There are always things you can do.

Take care of yourself. Get plenty of sleep and eat healthy. This will all pass in due time and you will look back and see the gains from it all. You will be stronger, wiser and more compassionate and understanding than ever before.

When I found out he was a scammer, I was actually relieved because I didn't like sending him money. I did it because I thought I was "being good" by helping someone and in turn that made me feel good, but inside I was also hating to send money.

Hi Everyone,
My story starts with meeting a man on match.com May 10, 2013. We emailed and IM on Yahoo for 2 weeks before I found out that I was being scammed. I got caught up with his profile for it so matched mine and so did our emails. It was a whirlwind romance .. omg how I felt like such an idiot when I found out he wasn't real. Now, I see all the red flags that I ignored, mostly due to ignorance of the military and sleep deprivation. It didn't take long for him to ask for an ipad for his computer was constantly shutting down and I of course asked what else I could send him; and the list got long and was also for his men .. he didn't feel right receiving things while there were others who received nothing . I fell for it and spent a total of $3,200.00 on items, postage, duty, and more postage to get packages from Accra Ghana to Afghanistan! UGH!
Fortunately, I got a full night's sleep and decided to tell my one friend (although I had already told about 15 others of this wonderful man I found) about him and I and sent her a pic. She was very concerned and ran his pic on google, which I never knew could be done. I will always be grateful that she went that extra step and put concrete evidence in front of me. I love me some google image search now!! Anyway, I was actually IM'ing with him when my friend texted me at 11:45 pm EST and told me to call her. I did and that's when she directed me to this site that showed his pics. I was and called him a few names and signed off immediately. Needless to say, I didn't receive much sleep for the next few days for I read your site and started reporting everything I could. I also did research on FB and found numerous other alias this crook was using.
I am fortunate to have a good support group of friends in my life and they have been helping me right along with the information and postings I have been reading here.
I felt angry, embarrassed, humiliated, ashamed, stupid, self loathing, you name it I felt it. As I see, so has everyone else here, which really helped me to get thru this day to day. I am doing much better this week and finally have the time alone to write my story here. He may have gotten some emotions out of me and $3,200.00 in items and cash, but he gave me way more than he will ever know . I feel stronger and something within me has been solidified, which I don't know exactly what that is yet, maybe a conviction that I am worthy and that I do deserve what I am truly looking for .... and that my friends is priceless!! I knew in order for my healing to begin I needed to talk about what happened, put things into perspective and move on. I am in a healing group and I shared my story last week and gave information on the scamming that is so rampant and vile in our world today. It felt amazing to turn the tables around so quickly. I know these won't get caught and I have no interest in going after them, but I will tell everyone I know and don't know that they exist and that works for me!!
I thank everyone who has ever shared their story here for it is in these stories that help the healing to begin! I thank everyone who had anything to do with starting and maintaining this site and for the moderators and peer counselors for their dedication. You all are doing a fabulous service to us all.
My story doesn't begin nor end here for I have yet another purpose to fulfill in life ... thanks to my Ghana scammer. May he choke on the cookies I sent him, fall in the flip flops, break a tooth from the hard Orbit gum, get a rash from the t-shirts, nick the hell out of himself with the razors, get foot fungus from the sneakers, and last but not least, may lightening strike that darn ipad while he scamming others! Ok I feel much better now!

Thank you all again .. sending all love and light!

I hope in your self discovery you've found what is evident . . . you are awesome. The scammer will never be anything but dirt.

Thanks Pinky, I appreciate your comment and am working on realizing that I am awesome! Hugs

Hi, thank you for having a victim support section here in romancescam.com. You ladies and gentlemen are awesome. I just wanted to share my story too hoping that it will help me feel better afterwards by letting it out. I am a recent victim of romance scam and I really wish I found this website earlier and know how to search images thourgh google or other sites. It lasted for 7 months and 55k worth of money lost. It was all pressure from him to send him money. He was just really good fabricating stories and carefully manipulating me so I would fell for him and would really help him out so he could come here in the US soon. I was so stupid and stubborn for not listening to other people. It was a mental and emotional havoc for me for 7 months with him for he would be pushing me to help him for he needed the money badly because of this and that. He always saying that he is sick and not feeling good. OMG!! I didn't listen to people when they told me because I wanted the physical evidence so I started investigating him but I wasn't consistent doing it. I stopped when I didn't find any bad about him until recently when I felt compelled to google his yahoo id again. There he was in romancescam.com. OMG!!! That was Monday, and since then I am still an emotional and mentally wreck when I found out finally that I got scammed. I shouldn't have stopped checking him or should have heeded to the warning signs. But I didn't and that was the problem that I would regret for a while. I sent money to him because he needed it to resolve his so called 'problems' so he could come here in US to be with me. OMG!! He even used me to be a third party receiver of funds from other people and I would sent it to him immediately per his instructions, and telling me that his business associates were helping him through their 'so-called' debtors who according to him, are paying them now. He said he needed the money to pay the fine, and after that we can be together as he promised. OMG!! I can't believe I fell for it. Anyway, I already reported him to IC3. I am still scared for the future seems so uncertain now, and I could lose everything I worked hard for. I am still trying to accept that it's happening to me. I really fell for it. I was vulnerable, divorced for 5 years and living alone, no kids and just turning 40. He knows how to get me and he did. I open the doors to him immediately and he invaded it with evil intentions. He really knows that a very good looking photo is a very effective bait to ladies. We really need to nail this guy for he is really good. It really hurts so much knowing that I even lied to my friends and used some for them not knowing I was aiding this scammer for money. It really so painful and embarrassing right now that I couldn't help but just cry, sad, and depressed. I know it will take me sometime to recover my emotions, my dignity, my self-respect and my money back for I have to pay back the loans I took for sending the money to this scammer. And the shame, hurt and lost is unbearable right now. I need to talk to people that I trust and known for a long time who will understand me. I need help to be consoled and comforted. I need prayers of healing and hope. I am still hurting and embarrased. I need the love and support from friends and family. But at the same time, I know I have to move on, and am still crawling to do that right now..HELP!!!

You will make it through this. The money isn't what matters - even though that's the last thing you want to hear from anybody right now. Yeah it's a lot but many times I have seen far worse.

If you have access to an attorney, I would suggest you confide in him what has happened. You have filed an IC3 report yes, but they will not coordinate with your local law enforcement. If any of the victims your scammer had send money to you, connect the dots and know you're a real live person who could be forced to make restitution, you're going to need some legal advice.

Most important of all now- DO NOT SPEAK OR WRITE ANOTHER WORD TO THE SCAMMER(S). It would be best not to even complain about this to other internet contacts that you do not know personally and are sure of. This is because you are not alone in this. Your scammer's fake persona is obviously scamming others too. We want his scam report to remain viable so that they can find the proof they need, just like you did. If he gets wind of your knowledge, he'll cover his tracks so well, we'll never find him until someone else gets hurt and reports his new fake persona.

I know you want to curse him, but believe me, you can't make him feel any regret or remorse - other than he's lost a source of income - and you can't hurt him with insults. The only way to hurt him is by exposing him here so the search engines will find current victims interrupt his current cash flow.

If he calls you do not answer. If you accidentally answer and hear his voice, hang up immediately. This will bug the crap out of him. That's the best you're going to be able to get on him.

I just read your posts in White Males. This is 100% an African love rat. Do not hold out on posting his full details because you're still hoping this is all a mistake. You need to post more than just his name. His email address is most important. And if he's changed emails on you in the last 7 months (they do this when someone gets wise to them), you need to post those too. Post any and all phone numbers and names of others that he's given you as part of the scam, like his 'barrister' or chauffeur, doctor, employee, or banker. Expose anything and everything someone might get suspicious of and google search.

Did you give him any of your passwords, or account numbers? Think where you might still need to protect yourself.

One last warning: Don't read anymore messages from him. Delete them when you see him. Block him from chat and your cell phone texts. Seriously do not read them. He will be trying anything and everything to get you back on the hook, even blackmail. Especially apologies and promises.

Thank you Pinky for your advise. I am thinking about seeking an attorney's help on this.

hello! I was wondering if you have any post from real military men that found out scammers are using their pics and info? thanks!

There are some. Look through the military section for the threads that have stars on the subject titles.

Hello Everyone,

I just wanted to let everyone know that Dr. Phil is doing a television segment on internet scammers today, September 11, 2013. It this can help someone, it's well worth watching!

Thanks!

Dr. B

I am not a victim of a scammer , as I did not send him any of the money he had asked me for, but when I tried to walk away after finding him out, he started texting me and getting real mean, he threatened me and my family, and called me terrible names. I can deal with the name calling , but the threat is scaring me. He does know my address because he was going to send me a present and never did. I feel real stupid for giving it out to him but he seemed so genuine, How do I deal with the threat? I wont repeat in here what he said about myself and my kids but the threat was this part is I have your details and am sending them to muller and NSA agent, but this part is not funny its scaring me Swearing with my wife grave, am gonna let you know who I am. I even asked him to stop texting me. What do I do? should I report this to the police I have already deleted him and blocked him from everything else but didnt want to do that with my phone yet because of the threat. Please Help Me. Miss M